2015 || a year of questions

Looking back at the year in comparison to 2014, I couldn't help but feel like what was the point of 2015? But then I came across a quote that seemed to put it all in perspective:

"There are years that ask questions, and there are years that answer." -Zora Neale Hurston

After reading this quote, I realized that although things didn't always turn out the way I wanted them to, there was still a point to the year. 2015 was a year of questions that I didn't know the answers to. I asked and asked and asked and am still asking with seemingly no response, but I think it's important to stop obsessing over receiving the answer right now and allowing the questions to just be. The answers will come, I just have to wait and keep the door open for receiving. 

Knowing I have been stubborn and probably hard on myself, I took a look through my photos from the year, and it reminded me of the good memories I had in the last 12 months. So here it goes ---

I lived in Washington state on the beautiful Bainbridge Island. I would walk down to the pebbly beach and watch the ferry glide in, then take off to Seattle. I was grateful for a warm, snowless winter in the Pacific Northwest.

I worked with some of the most passionate, humble, loving people I've known. I don't have pictures of all the people I love from YES!, but here are a few. Top left: Miles who made me watch wrestling, but only after watching the Bachelor with me. Top right: Erin who brought out the sassy in me and always had my articles looking their best. Bottom left: Mary and James. Mary was my girl from the day I moved into the YES house. We spent nights at the Alehouse, traveled over to Seattle, and had conversations about life <3 her dearly. James always gave me a new way to look at issues I was writing about and gave me the boost to dig deep. Bottom right: Morgan who brought her bubbly personality and wonderful insights into any conversation. 

Missing: Christa who believed in my voice and did everything with love and compassion. Jim who was the sweetest and kindest person (plus always brought home bread). Susan who gave the best advice and always gave a helping hand. Natasha who was such a beautiful artist and kicked butt on our hike. Peter who I wish I had gotten to know more, but was not only a caring individual but also a fiction writer! There were so many others I was grateful to work with day and day out.

Other notable things I did with my YES folks: had wonderful family dinners, watched the Super Bowl (Seattle Seahawks vs New England Patriots) in a Seattle bar that was only standing room. It was so sad to see the Seahawks lose and in the way that they did. We worked at the HUB, chilled in the beer garden, debated where solutions journalism was going and what part we had in the process, spent a few days in a beach house and singing by a fire in the rain, and eating deep dish pizza while talking about the effect of global warming.

I adventured around Seattle alone. I went to the Frye Museum of Art, Elliot Bay Book Co., wandered the streets, got lost, got rained on, found cool things, and explored. It really felt empowering to be able to just walk and find new things everywhere I looked.

I learned how awesome hackerspaces and makerspaces are after talking to the Seattle Attic, FemHack, Hacker Gals, and a few others. This is the first time I saw direct change and action being made from an article I wrote. I still haven't visited Hacker Gals, but I really want to in the near future. Stacy, the founder, is such a sweet person and I want to get an update on what they're doing.

In the second part of the internship, I really started to love the topics I was writing about, like the hackerspaces one, the article about hip-hop artist Jasiri X and how he is bringing awareness about social justice through his music (and literally got so starstruck, like heart beating extra fast, falling in love type of feelings when watching his videos), and the article about breweries turning to sustainable methods to help stop global warming (I also liked talking to Rick Williams about restorative justice, but that was in December 2014 so it doesn't count).

I learned so much, talked to some amazing people, got frustrated a few times, but enjoyed being a part of bringing positive news to the public. Go solutions journalism!

One of my favorite places to be - always - Intentional Table. I walked into the studio, really shy, and walked out with a job helping the food and wine studio with social media. Not only did I learn a lot about food, but I learned a lot about life from the owner and my second mom, Zoe. She is the most inspirational, go-getter, loving person I know. Every single day I spent with her was amazing and her presence always put me in a better mood. 

I also met some other wonderful people at Intentional Table including Heather, Abby, Marsha, and Carla. They are the sweetest.

But, wait. Let's step back a moment and look at the things that didn't go so well. I felt lost, not knowing where I should go and what I should do with my life. I loved the things I was doing at YES, but it was hard, time consuming, and I didn't know if I could get a job doing something like this. My dad had health issues, which pulled me to want to go home.

I ended up deciding to stay in Seattle. Got a room in a house with five other girls. The landlord didn't even tell them that I was moving in, so when I got there with all my things, they looked shocked that a random person was bringing all their stuff inside. I felt alone, isolated, couldn't find a job. The room I was in had basically no heat. I enjoyed going to the library, so that was a plus.

With my dad being sick and me not feeling happy and having a hard time finding a job, I got a plane ticket home to Michigan. 

I felt happy to be home, but also like a failure. I got a job working at Camp Miniwanca, which brought me a lot of joy and a little bit of office drama. I still felt like I wasn't living up to what I should've been. 

I had my first poem published in print! Besides being published, it was also displayed in the Bainbridge Island Public Library lobby. Read about it here.

I spent a bunch of time with this guy. Baked pies, went to a birthday party, spent a day with his family kayaking down a river (so much fun, but he had to rescue me a million times...oops), watched hours of Game of Thrones and Grey's Anatomy, made jar salads, introduced him to a scoby (hilarious!), went on a Stony Lake boat tour and a bunch of other things #alwaysmybestfriend #lovehimtopieces - side note: one of these pics is a throwback from years ago - can you guess it?

Had such a blast at the Speak Like A Girl show featuring Megan Falley and Olivia Gatwood. They are kick ass women that talk about rape culture, social norms, feminism and a lot of other topics, but in a way that knocks your socks off. Highly recommend watching their videos, buying their books, and watching them live. I also got to listen to the Sharon Olds! I went with one of my best friends and ran into another friend from high school. He got us into the after party, where we got to have conversation with these fierce women. It was an amazing night.

Had a Yarwood family reunion! I hadn't seen these cousins in such a long time - some of them I had never even met. I also joined in on a sand dune ride at Silver Lake. Even though I've lived 10 minutes from the lake my entire life, I had never been in a dune buggy. It was realllllly bumpy!

And spent some time with my girls! We went out for Halloween. Jasmine and Lauren were 70s glam girls and I was a robber. I never get to see my G11 gals enough, but I surprised them and visited on my birthday HA! They had invited me to a party and didn't know it was my birthday, but how better could I have spent it? Had such a great time and I listened to a bunch of (actually) really good karaoke.

Here comes 2016, let's give it all we've got and more.

♥ Kay

First poem officially in print

It's not #ThrowbackThursday, but I have something from a few months ago to share. While I was living on Bainbridge Island, I went to the local bookstore, searching around for local poets' writing on the shelves. One of the books I pulled was an assortment of poems that had won the Poetry Corner's Contest sponsored by the Bainbridge Island Arts & Humanity Council.

After buying the book, reading it from cover to cover, I looked the competition up online and found that they celebrated National Poetry Month (April) by publishing the chosen poems, having a live reading, and posting the poems in the windows of businesses on the island for people to read as they passed by by.

The theme for 2015 was "Peace" and when I looked through my poems, I couldn't find anything that directly related to that topic. I tend to write about challenges and moments of dramatic impact. Even though nothing seemed to fit the theme, I submitted three poems, not expecting anything except a rejection letter.

Forgetting that I had even submitted the poems, I logged into my email one day at YES! and read the word "congratulations" and my stomach sunk. I had never been published before, and when I saw which poem had won, I got a little nervous.

The poem that they chose is called "Bruises, Blood, Dust" and it follows a mother and daughter struggling in an abusive home. The reason my stomach was in knots when I saw this poem had won was because many people write from their personal experiences and sometimes I do too, but the scenario in the poem is far from anything I've ever experienced. 

I can't remember what sparked this poem, but I can still clearly see the image of the home I created in my mind and distress that ran through my veins as I described what the characters were going through. All I know is I felt the need to write about this topic.

Although I was unable to attend the live reading from the poetry collection, I did order a copy of the book -- my first published poem. Kind of exciting.

My poem was displayed at the Bainbridge Island library

Published in print. So crazy.

Bruises, Blood, Dust

             by Kayla Schultz

It sounds like a band, drumming

to the beat of skin against skin,

bone against flesh. The thump, thump

thumping of her falling to the dirty kitchen tile,

scrubbed weekly, never clean.

she is inhaling, exhaling calmly,

walking away with dry cheeks, purpled

the color of grape lollipops.

Sticky red dribbling from her nose,

tickling like strawberry juice running

down swollen cheeks. Her daughter’s

tiny arm clings to Raggedy Anne,

healed with hand-sewn patches

in the shape of hearts to cover the gashes.

Rising from the tile, mother and daughter

walk hand in hand out the screen door,

You’ll never get away with this, he yells,

pounding his fists against the porch railing,

watching dust from the dirt road

envelop them until they disappear. 

I just booked a ticket back home to Michigan...APRIL FOOLS!

Wait...I'm staying in Seattle? Yup.

It was getting down to the wire. I had to choose: a plane ticket or an apartment.

There were pros and cons to each. It's so much safer to go home where I can see my family, cuddle with my dog and sleep in my room. But then again, would I be able to find a job in my small town? Well, I would be applying to places everywhere and could move to that location when I got the job. But it's so much harder to get a job when you aren't in that city. I do have a couple of leads on jobs I want in Seattle, but who knows when they will get back to me?

I struggled to sort through my thoughts and asked a TON of people their advice. B told me to get an apartment and take a chance because if I go home I could get stuck. My grandma said maybe I should wait it out and see if any of these jobs come through. She reminded me that my mom went to California when she was young and it opened her eyes and fostered a lot of self-growth. MSM told me to come home and then quickly changed his mind and said I better stay because I always do the opposite of what he says.

It was such a difficult decision. And then I made up my mind. I called my dad up and said with vigor "I'm coming home, Dad!" Guess what he said. He said that I have some really good opportunities in Seattle. He told me he wanted me to be happy and that he knows that I really want a job and that it wouldn't hurt to stick it out here. He'd hate to see me fly all the way back to Michigan and get an offer and have to fly all the way back to Seattle. "Think it over," he said.

Thanks a lot, Dad. I'd already thought about it so hard, why'd he have to go and mix me up again? That night, my mind was still set on going home. I think I was also so ready to leave because I had been looking for a room to rent with hardly any luck. If I were going to stay, I needed to know I wasn't going to be homeless. Finally, some people finally responded to me and although this didn't change my mind about leaving, it made me breathe a little easier.

So Monday, I decided to take a look at a room so I took the ferry across Puget Sound, wandered around until I found the Pioneer Square station, rode the bus across town, and walked until I found the house I was looking for. In her car was the rental manager. She showed me around the house and it looked like these girls were young, welcoming, fun people. There was a well-stocked bookshelf, St. Patrick's Day decorations, a dry erase board with their names and pictures of what they did (one had a stethoscope, another a cocktail, etc.). I told the lady I'd think about it and took a stroll. The public library was across from the bus stop and had a gorgeous little nature area. Just steps from that was a mall and shopping area and after awhile, I started to think I could see myself there.

So yesterday, I decided to jump on the opportunity. Even today I called my dad again upset and wanting to come home, but he talked me through it. I'm not sure what will come of it, but I'm going to work my tail off to get where I want to be, whether I stay here or go home. But for now, I'm going to try it out. Sooooo please send good vibes my way and I'll try to send some back. xoxo

Part V: TWILIGHT

On our way to the rainforest side of Olympic National Park, we had to stop in Forks. You know, the town that Twilight is based on. Although the movies were not actually filmed in the real Forks, Wash., Stephenie Meyer (the author) had chosen the town because of its ridiculous amount of rain, and small town status. When she was researching Forks, she found that the La Push Reservation was very close, too, which fit the story of Jacob (the guy pictured above).

"My Forks had become such a real place in my head that I was sure the reality would have some kind of jarring difference." Meyer wrote about the first time she visited Forks. "It wouldn't look like the pictures, maybe, or there would be some huge flaw that would make my story impossible in that setting. But as we flew in, low over the densely green hills with the incredible Cascades Mountains touching the clouds to the south, I stopped worrying."

When we first drove into the town, it reminded me a lot of my hometown (Shelby, Mich.). It was super small, kind of run down, and basically just a road of town. We went to the chamber of commerce and they had a little map of landmarks for tourists to visit. So, we took a few pictures with the cardboard cutouts and were on our way through the self-guided tour.

Forks - we're here!

My sparkly sidekick, Edward Cullen.

Don't be parking in Carlisle's spot.

Bella's dad is a police officer. Here's his cruiser.

Welcome to the Cullen house.

Note from Esme.

Can you imagine Edward playing the piano for you?

Where Bella and Edward first met - Forks High School.

a year to remember

A year is a long time, yet it isn't.

I remember very clearly how unsettled I felt at the end of last year. Things weren't going as I had planned, and I wasn't happy. I tore my room apart, wanting a new start and thinking that I needed to start the transformation by bringing a different vibe to the place I called home.

I wanted to be surrounded by inspiration. I printed out my favorite poems, tacking them to my wall. I took down every photograph and replaced it with my own drawings. I had forgotten how much I loved to draw. I tried to quit gcmag, but after a lot of deliberation and encouragement from Jess, I decided to stay and do things a little differently.

I changed my priorities. I took chances. On people. On things in my life.

I went to Georgia, NYC, Washington, made unforgettable memories with so many people, and sometimes I still feel like I accomplished nothing. Here I am at the end of 2014, and some of the things I wanted most didn't work out.

If I push all the chaos to the side for a moment and allow myself to become introspective, a calm comes over me. The things that happen to me, the choices I make will come and pass. They will take me somewhere. To where - I don't know, but I have to trust that the pieces of my life that I perceive as wrinkles, will somehow iron out.

This year was beyond my expectations. I am so grateful. I just hope to start this year with a similar view - to make decisions for me, to keep the inspiration flowing, and to keep my mind and heart open to the possibilities life offers.

Here's an overload of pictures that show just how much joy this year brought me:

GEORGIA

In February, I traveled to Savannah, Ga. with the Central Michigan University Sigma Tau Delta chapter. Many of my peers presented papers and poetry, and I sat in on seminars about English and interacted with literature-loving friends. We also took some time to explore the history of the area and soak in some much needed sunshine.

NEW YORK CITY

 The Grand Central Magazine editors had the opportunity to go to NYC for a media conference. They had a little bit of everything there: seminars for editorial, PR, advertising, lit mags, photography, etc. We spent an afternoon in Central Park, got on the subway to find the best pizza in NYC and ended up in a scary part of town, and did some touristy things. I also lost my phone.

MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

My birthday was literally the best. I don't like to do much for my birthdays, but my roommates talked me into a party. My roomies and I had themed parties for almost every occasion, so this was no exception. My birthday was casino-themed, hence the glasses, and red/black attire. We danced ALL night, and I hope everyone had just as much fun as I did.

One of the biggest surprises of the day was when I opened a present from Benj. It was a signed book of poetry by Aimee Nezhukumatathil! It meant so much to me because I told  him that she had written my favorite poem called "Small Murders." I feel like no one would remember something like that (especially with such a long and uncommon last name), but he remembered and reached out to her to write a special birthday message, which is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I was also super surprised when I realized that later in the year I would be going to see Lana Del Rey with Jas and Lauren!

GRAND CENTRAL MAGAZINE

Being an editor for Grand Central Magazine had it's ups and downs, but I am so thankful for the experience. I met some amazing people who I can truly call friends. A huge shout out to the campus life crew who made my job fun and exciting with all their fresh article ideas. Miss you all.

GRADUATION

I graduated! Yes, we might've done a huge photo shoot (sorry, Matt), but it was a big occasion for Megan, Jas, and I. After our ceremonies, Jas, my fam, and I went to Cops & Doughnuts in Clare. They had a mug shot poster, and we couldn't resist snapping a few pics.

SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE EVER

Where do I even start? I have such great memories with each and every person in these pictures. From roomie love, to getting all gussied up for the military ball, to working with Ed on his book and going to  his wedding, to becoming even closer to muh girl Jess, to amazing adventures with Benj. Thankful for all of you!

SUMMER

This summer I spent a lot of time looking for a job. It wasn't a super successful venture, but I did get the internship at YES! The summer consisted of sanding, priming, and painting my grandma's garage - and it took forever. We also did a lot of blueberry and cherry picking in the orchards around her house. I played mom for a week and it was a lot of fun spending so much time with Isaac and Chloe. In July, I watched a miracle happen - baby Elijah was brought into the world. Before Benj shipped off to China, we went to Dow Gardens, the beach, and failed miserably at trying to pitch a tent. I also got to kiss my sweet dog, Bo, for the last time.

WASHINGTON

At the end of September, my parents and I flew to Washington. I started at YES! Magazine on Bainbridge Island as an online reporting intern at the beginning of October. You can read about some of my adventures in Washington here, here, here, and here. Although I was in Michigan for Christmas, I am back in Washington to begin the new year.

I have three more months at YES! Magazine. I suspect that this year will be full of changes and struggles as I transition into full-blown adulthood (finding a career, starting to build a life for myself), but I'm ready to conquer it. Hopefully.

Happy New Year everyone.

Part IV: Breathtaking mountain range + red and blue flashing lights

After touring around Seattle for a few days, we jumped on the ferry to Bainbridge Island - my home for the next six months (well, three now since I'm such a procrastinator and haven't uploaded all of this trip yet). I wanted to look around and get a feel for the town before I officially moved there.

So we drove through the city, trying to figure out where the ferry was. It was a little complicated because they were starting construction on the waterfront. When we finally found the entrance, we were guided to a line of cars where we would wait for the ferry to return.

We got out of our rental car, and what was the first thing my dad saw? A Michigan State license plate cover. Being the social man that he is, he approaches the vehicle and starts a conversation with the woman inside. Come to find out, there is a Michigan State community on the island (which I haven't actually found).

It didn't take long for the boat to arrive, so we got back in our car, drove on the ferry, and took the 30 minute ride to the island. When we made it to Bainbridge, my first impression was that it was cute little town with a homey vibe. There was a farmers market taking place and people flooded the wonderful little shops along the main street. We stopped for lunch at a little cafe, then wandered around until we found the house where I would be living.

Our day was far from over though. We planned to get to Port Angeles that day, so we headed North over the bridge. This was the first time we got to see Washington's wilderness. I have to admit that I dozed off a little bit, but let me assure you, I was fully awake when a certain incident involving my dad happened.

We were driving, watching the trees go by and seeing the mountains get bigger as we approached. We were getting really close to Port Angeles and were driving on a road that looked similar to a expressway in Michigan. As we are cruising, the SUV-type vehicle in front of us puts on their brakes, so my dad gets over and passes them. A few seconds later, I see red and blue lights reflecting and as I look behind, I see the lights of a cop car.

My dad pulls over, saying genuinely that they must've gotten a call and need to get by. He was wrong. They were pulling him over. Although the road looked like an expressway, the speed limit was not 70 mph. The police officer did his usual questioning of how fast he was going and my dad apologized. The cop let him off, but every 5 seconds, I saw my dad peeking in his rearview mirror and then back to the speedometer. It was kinda funny.

We made it to Port Angeles in the evening and took a ride up to Hurricane Ridge. It was beautiful. We saw two families of deer, and a bunny. When we are at national parks, we stop a gazillion times as we drive up the mountain so we can see all the gorgeous views of the mountains, rivers, and landscapes. At a certain point on the way up, we were above the clouds and fog hovered in the mountains below us. It was majestic and one of my favorite parts of the trip.

The ferry to Bainbridge is ready for us to board.

Welcome to the island.

Last year at Central Michigan University, I attended the annual pow wow. There were a bunch of tribes that created all the music for the dance competition. They had amazing food and I didn't want to leave because I was so entranced by the event. Since then, I've been really interested in the culture, so I made my dad stop at this reservation so I could look at the beautiful totem poles.

I actually had the honor of talking to a First Nations master carver for an article that should be coming out this week at yesmagazine.org, so look out for it on the website. It was such a great experience learning about him, his art, and just chatting about life in general.

Going up to Hurricane Ridge in Olympic National Park.

Los padres.

This duo was walking around in the road. I was so scared they were going to get hit by a car.

Above the clouds. This picture doesn't do the scene justice.

Look at those mountains.

Breathtaking.

The first snow on Bainbridge + Seattle sunsets

Snow has finally arrived on Bainbridge Island. I was very surprised when, through my blinds, I saw white dusting the leaves outside my window. I had been unusually cold when I went to bed Friday, but I thought nothing of snow! The snow and cold weather made it seem a little more like the holidays.

It was Small Business Saturday, so I walked downtown to find that Winslow had no power. There were a bunch of people, so most of the shops were open, just working with the sunlight shining through the windows and making sales the old fashion way.

I decided to take a trip over to Seattle and the waves were so big. The boat was swaying, and I was trying to breathe deep and not let the motion sickness get to me. I started walking downtown and looking in shops, but of course made it over to Pike Place, which was crowded. Santa was taking present orders, and carolers sang Christmas songs.

I snapped a picture of the beautiful sunset behind Pike Place.

My camera doesn't like to take pictures in the dark, but this was on the way back to Bainbridge while I was on the ferry. I have yet to be on the ferris wheel. I'll check it off soon though, don't you worry.

Seattle lights 'a shinin'

Part III: Seattle Space Needle + Chihuly Glass Museum

Below the Space Needle was the Chihuly Garden and Glass Museum. This was a beautiful view of both the extraordinary sculpture and the Space Needle | Photo by Kayla Schultz 

Blue skies. Sunny. Warm. What else can you ask for in a city known for rain? 

Although we did get rained on a bit when we spent the day in Seattle, the sun and blue skies were out for the most part. We struggled with the Light Rail system a little as we traveled to Pike Place Market, but after some help from a Seattlite, we were on our way. The rail took us through the city, giving a little tour. 

We met a few "interesting" people, one being a man from Michigan. Supposedly he is a triplet whose family is very well-known in the state. I had never heard of him. Another man started talking in our direction, only to be talking to himself...I think.

We found our way to the Space Needle, which has an interesting history. It was built for the Seattle World's Fair in 1962, and was designed by an artist that wanted the fair's centerpiece to be futuristic. The sketch became a reality, but with just 13 months until the opening of the World's Fair, there still wasn't a place for the landmark. They did end up finding a 120 ft x 120 ft piece of land, and started building. Keeping with the futuristic theme, the restaurant in the Space Needle turns 360 degrees and all of the paint on the structure has space names like Astronaut White.

The view from the top of the Space Needle was beautiful. As you can see from the photos, the water was sparkling, the buildings looked so small and wonderful from such a distance. There was a building below that was painted as if something had been dropped from the top of the Space Needle...a big splat mark! Even though the wind blew our hair viciously, it didn't stop us from soaking in the view. 

Just below the Space Needle was the Chihuly Garden and Glass Museum. The glass was just amazing. The artist, Dale Chihuly, was inspired by indigenous culture, the sea, and made extraordinary, colorful pieces of glass.

Take a look:

View from the Space Needle | Photo by Kayla Schultz

Seattle Space Needle | Photo by Roger Schultz

My mom and dad at the top of the Seattle Space Needle | Photo by Kayla Schultz

The big city of Seattle - beautiful day | Photo by Kayla Schultz

Hey, I'm pretty awkward, but this map shows my journey across the country | Photo by Diane Schultz

Dale Chihuly has been highly influenced by the indigenous culture | Photo by Kayla Schultz

Hanging glass sculpture | Photo by Kayla Schultz

Look at those paintings | Photo by Diane Schultz

Looks like raw gems - love it | Photo by Kayla Schultz